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How New Yorkers Survive Alternate Side Parking Without Pulling an Alec Baldwin

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(Photos: Jess Rohan)

Alec Baldwin was in court this morning defending himself against allegations that he attempted to assault a guy over a parking space–an impulse that is no doubt familiar to the nearly half of New York households that own cars. A data collection firm found that nearly a third of US drivers surveyed had been in a fight over a parking space in the previous year. It’s hard to imagine that figure isn’t higher in New York City, home to some of the country’s most aggressive drivers, and the third-most congested city in the world. 

A major target of city driver ire is the daily dance known as alternate side parking, which forces drivers without the benefit of a driveway or expensive parking-garage spot to move their cars in the middle of the day as they await a zamboni.

Re-parking is incredibly time-consuming, leading many people to just double park on the other side of the street–or sometimes, if there’s a bike lane, in the middle of the street. And car ownership is on the rise in the city–up 9% in the past four years–possibly due to new rideshare drivers.

We talked to some brave souls occupying their double-parked cars in the East Village on street cleaning day to find out what they think about during their two-hour purgatory.

Failing to move during street cleaning is a $65 fine in most of Manhattan, and it’s $115 for double parking–but head down any Village side street during its alternate-side parking hours and you’ll see a solid row of unattended, double-parked cars.

“It’s a whole day’s salary for some people,” said Fabrizio Duque, who was waiting in a friend’s car that he borrowed for the day. “So I understand why it’s frustrating.”

Fabrizio Duque.

Alternate side parking is such a city institution that the novelist Jonathan Safran Foer once described it to Natalie Portman (and Times readers) in mind-numbing detail, and David Foster Wallace chose it as the occasion for grisly murder in his novel Infinite Jest. For over 20 years, New Yorkers would find their unmoved cars affixed with “stickers of shame,” until City Council voted to end a practice they considered “not reasonable behavior in the 21st century.”

Brigitte Landou has a strategy for parking her 18-year-old beater car, which is covered in the work of the painter Kenny Scharf, a staple of the 1980s East Village art scene. When she can’t find a spot on her usual street, which is partly blocked with construction right now, she parks on the block of the nearby police precinct, which is exempt from the alternate side parking hours.

Brigitte Landau’s car, painted by Kenny Scharf.

But Landou rarely has to resort to the NYPD’s block, she said, because she’s good at finding spots. She credits her cool-headed driving to her mother, who learned to drive at 18 to flee the Nazi occupation of France and, she says, ended up receiving an award as the “best driver in France” for going 67 years without a single accident.

Still, things can get dicey on the streets. “Sometimes you’re ready to park and someone–from New Jersey, probably–comes and tries to take your spot,” Landou said.

Stephen Singer, an actor, studies scripts during street cleaning. He’s lived in the city since 1971, but just got a car two years ago, which he uses for occasional trips out of town. Singer hopes the City finds a better parking solution soon; the last time someone stopped to talk to him during ASP day, they gave him a survey from an app developer for an algorithm to find open parking spaces. There are at least five such apps already–and more on the way

Once, Singer said, he got hit by a street cleaner. It was on the zamboni’s second pass on the street, after it had hit another car and flattened the tire.

Annie Dumke, who uses her car to visit her mother in Westchester, reads during street cleaning; a recent pick was the book Car Trouble by Robert Rorke. Dumke and her husband are staying in a friend’s East Village apartment while they find a place in the city, where they’re returning after a stint in the suburbs.

“I’m not so sure it’s worth having a car in New York City,” Dumke said. “My friends in the city don’t have cars, and maybe there’s a reason for that.”

One of her kids lives in Brooklyn, Dumke said. “Maybe it’s more humane there.”

It won’t end the city’s street cleaning ritual any time soon, but some drivers hope that if the proposed congestion pricing goes through next year, our parking woes might be ever-so-slightly alleviated.

Annie Dumke.

“The less cars, the better,” Dumke said.

Landou, on the other hand, is totally against congestion pricing, which she said will be difficult for older Manhattanites on fixed incomes who need a car for running errands and going to appointments.

Despite the difficulties, Landou said, having her car is worth it: “My car is my freedom.”


This Rooftop Bar’s ‘Brick-Infused’ Cocktail Is a Perfect Metaphor For Today’s Bowery

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(Courtesy of citizenM)

Rooftop bars tend to be a complete and total shitshow, so it’s delightful to discover an uncontacted one. On the Lower East Side right now, that virginal Shangri-la is cloudM, the 21st-floor bar of the new citizenM hotel on the Bowery. It’s been quietly open for a little over a month now, but during my two visits there—once on a Thursday and then again on a Friday night, when the Bowery is also invariably a shitshow— it was so blessedly underpopulated that it felt almost like we had rented Airbnb’s poshest penthouse.

(Courtesy of citizenM)

Unlike other new rooftop bars with their $150 negronis, the cocktails here aren’t absurdly overpriced; $12 to $18 seems fair when you consider the epic views from the comfortable couches in the inside lounge and (sadly unheated) outdoor terrace. Plus, you get a free look at the Museum of Street Art, a series of murals– many of them Lower East Side themed– painted by 5Pointz artists in the hotel’s stairwell.

Allen Ginsberg mural at the Museum of Street Art. (Photo: Daniel Maurer)

The bar itself is dotted with pop art like a melted disco ball by Dutch artist Rotganzen (citizenM is a Netherlands-based chain). And the cocktails feature interesting “sustainable garnishes” like broken circuit boards, and odd ingredients like “brick-infused Glenmorangie.”

Yes, you read that right: “brick-infused” Scotch. Turns out there’s a story behind that brick, and it’s a story that pretty much perfectly sums up the Bowery in the year 2018.

Police Officer Freestyle Rapper, with brick-infused Scotch. (Photo: Daniel Maurer)

I’ll let bar manager Michelle DeWyngaert tell it. “Before the hotel opened, we went out behind the building,” she said during a recent conversation. “There was a pile of rubble behind the building and we found a brick we could remove. We boiled it for about an hour just to make sure. Then we let it sit in the scotch. Every time we batch this cocktail, we let the scotch sit with the brick for a day or two.”

I got the same spiel when I asked one of the bar’s waiters (called “ambassadors”) about the brick. Presumably it was a remnant of 185-191 Bowery, the four-parcel lot— including a century-old townhouse—that was sold to the hotel’s developers in 2008. The site’s three-year demolition process was extensively documented by Bowery Boogie via self-described “destructo-porn” posts with headlines like “The Last Gasp of 185 Bowery” and “Farewell to 185 Bowery.”

(Courtesy of citizenM)

Is it possible that one of the bricks shown in Curbed’s post, “Bowery Building Reduced to a Pile of Bricks for CitizenM Hotel,” ended up in an $18 cocktail called the Police Officer Freestyle Rapper, alongside oolong tea, and bitters made with house-grown gardenia? If so, the hotel’s Dutch mixologist, Ivar de Lange, might want to dream up a brain-chunk cocktail, because my head just exploded.

Anyway, cloudM, at 189 Bowery– right down the block from the Ace’s forthcoming Bowery hotel— is open daily from 4pm, with last call at 11:30pm Sunday through Wednesday and at 1:30am Thursday through Saturday. Kick back and sip that brick-infused Scotch before the unwashed masses discover it.

5 Surprises at the Gotham Independent Film Awards

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Rachel Weisz and Michael Sheen. (Photos: Natalia Winkelman)

The Gotham Awards arrive at a critical moment in awards season. Predating and presaging all of the major awards, they give us a clue into which indies are on everyone’s radar. But more importantly, the ceremony highlights a slew of worthy titles that have less of a chance of making it into the Academy race. While the biggest news from last night’s ceremony came at the end — the surprise Best Feature winner — the ceremony included many newsworthy nuggets. Here are a few of the best moments.

5. Hale County This Morning, This Evening Wins Best Documentary
First-time director RaMell Ross picked up a rightfully-won award for his gorgeous, poetic documentary, Hale County This Morning, This Evening. With limited dialogue and lots of lyrical imagery, the film paints a patient and respectful portrait of Hale County, Alabama by documenting the lives of two young black men over the course of five years.

“When someone is being represented by someone, you’re putting a costume on them,” Ross said in his acceptance speech. “So when you’re representing yourself, you’re choosing your own clothes… Let’s let black folks choose their own clothes, por favor.

Elsie Fisher

4. Elsie Fisher Wins Breakthrough Actor Award for Eighth Grade
Fifteen-year-old Elsie Fisher, who starred as Kayla Day in the runaway summer favorite Eighth Grade, was the winner in the Breakthrough Actor category. Each of the six (all female!) nominees — including Yalitza Aparicio for Roma and Helena Howard for Madeline’s Madeline — was extraordinary, but Fisher’s turn as an awkward middle schooler was one that definitely deserves recognition, a melding of cringe humor and nostalgia that resonated with watchers of all ages.

“Acting was something I was considering stopping before Eighth Grade,” said Fisher during her speech. Before thanking her director, Bo Burnham, and her dad, Fisher added, “Me from two years ago would be really proud of me right now. And I’m really thankful for that.”

3. Rachel Weisz Calls Out Female Ensemble Cast Double Standard
Rachel Weisz took the stage on two occasions during last night’s ceremony: first, for a career acting tribute, and second, to accept this year’s Special Jury Award For Ensemble Performance for her work on The Favourite alongside costars Emma Stone and Olivia Coleman. Since neither of the other actresses were able to attend, Weisz brought cardboard cutouts of Stone and Coleman’s faces, which she raised in succession while reading their brief, funny remarks.

But before Weisz left the stage, she also snuck in a quick message to the press about interviewing female cast members. “I hope one day in the not-so-distant future we don’t get asked what it was like to share the screen with other women,” Weisz said. “Because I don’t think you ever ask men that.”

2. Willem Dafoe Chokes Up Remembering Bertolucci
Willem Dafoe, who was robbed of an Oscar last year for his work on The Florida Project, was honored with another of last night’s career acting tributes. Reflecting on his varied career, he said, “IMDB says I’ve made over 100 films. That’s a lot. But sometimes I feel like I’m just starting.”

Toward the end of his speech, the actor brought up the death of Italian director Bernardo Bertolucci. “I don’t know whether it’s appropriate,” Dafoe began, choking back tears, “but I feel like I have to say something about Bernardo… He gave us so much.” While admitting that he didn’t know Bertolucci well, Dafoe always appreciated the acclaimed Last Tango in Paris director’s spirit and kindness. “He was not only inspirational to other filmmakers, but he always was very generous with other filmmakers,” Dafoe said.

1. The Rider Wins Best Feature
The biggest shakeup of last night’s awards came at the very end, with the announcement of the Best Feature winner. By then, both Eighth Grade and First Reformed had racked up two awards each, and it was looking like First Reformed would take the cake on Best Feature as well. Instead, Chloe Zhao’s The Rider, a film that’s as beautiful as it is slow and understated, was announced as the winner, surprising and delighting everyone in the room.

While The Rider probably won’t have a shot at making it into the Oscar conversation, its Best Feature win will inevitably put the film back on everyone’s radar as an indie to check out. The win was a worthy end to the evening, highlighting the beauty and importance of awards shows like the Gothams which are less a popularity contest than a celebration of cinema.

These Holiday Haps Will Keep You Far, Far Away From Rockefeller Center

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“Nutcracker Rouge” (Photo: Angelica Frey)

Suddenly, people you haven’t seen in years are asking to squeeze an air mattress into your apartment’s shared living space (hallway), and include you in their crazed plans to join the crush around Rockefeller Center to look at an average-sized Norway spruce. The tree lighting is tomorrow, by the way; the Department of Transportation has declared Wednesday a “gridlock alert day,” one of 16 during the holiday season, when driving through Midtown takes twice as long as normal.

The holiday events happening in Bedford + Bowery land are bound to be less crowded, so we found a few for you and your fake out-of-town friends.

Arkham
Nov. 30, 10:30pm-4am at Bizarre, 12 Jefferson St, Bushwick.
December is a time for Santa, but it’s also a time for Krampus, the horned goat demon who follows St. Nick around giving coal to Central European children. Celebrate of Krampusnacht and “the darker side of the holiday season” with DJ Cyclonus, absinthe, fortune-telling, and “holiday horror.” The free, no-cover vibes include goth, industrial, darkwave, deathrock and dark 80s; all the sounds sure to summon the forces of Arkham.

Holiday Oddities Flea Market
Dec. 1-2 at Brooklyn Bazaar, 150 Greenpoint Ave, Greenpoint. 
Pound the egg nog and then go look at weird shit at this oddities extravaganza. Wares will include anatomical curiosities, natural history items, taxidermy, home décor, jewelry, and dark art, plus on-the-spot flash tattoos by contestants from the Ink Master TV show. It’s $10 at the door, or $30 to cut lines with advance VIP tickets.

Brouqueline Holiday Party 
Dec. 16, 5pm to 2 am, TBA Brooklyn, 385 Wythe Ave., Williamsburg.
Do you have an inner electronic-music elf? TBA Brooklyn is betting you do, and they’re hosting a holiday party with Brouqueline full of disco, funk, house and techno sounds to soothe the wintry spirit creatures within you; it’s free with RSVP.

Social Justice Holiday Market
Dec. 15-16 at Mayday Space, 176 St Nicholas Ave, Bushwick.
Buy gifts for your woke friends and support the “solidarity economy” at this market stocked with accessories, herbals, zines, buttons, art, and hot wintry drinks, plus a DJ.

Unsilent Night
Dec. 16, 5:45pm, at Washington Square Park, Greenwich Village.
This yearly tradition is like caroling but with a Say Anything aesthetic. Meet at the arch at Washington Square Park with your boombox or other sound device to join the composer Phil Kline in a mobile chorus from Greenwich Village to Tompkins Square Park. Kline will be loaning out a number of vintage boomboxes and cassettes too, or you can download the tracks in advance.

Nutcracker Rouge. (Photo: Angelica Frey)

Nutcracker Rouge
Through Jan. 13 at Theatre XIV, 383 Troutman Street, Bushwick.
Watch a sexy version of the Nutcracker at Theatre XIV in Bushwick–Nutcracker Rouge is a cabaret/burlesque re-imagining of the classic Christmas story. We’ve described it as a “louche, vaudevillian affair” that “plays with 1700s opulence, fin-de-siècle decadence, the sharp lines of Art Deco, and the glitz and glamor of old Hollywood.” Tickets start under $100 and there probably won’t be many children there, a true holiday miracle.

 

Drag Artist Theydy Bedbug Aims to Be a Little Sultry, a Little Scary

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(Photo: @patrickisphotographer on Instagram)

“I’m not going to look at you while we talk,” says Kelindah Schuster, settling down at a brightly backlit vanity, brush in hand. “I hope that’s not weird.” I sit a few feet behind the fully-equipped makeup station in Schuster’s small bedroom, in Bed-Stuy. Everywhere, amid the amber glass bottles of essential oils and the purple yoga mat on the floor, there are signs of the theatricality that bursts from this room on a near-nightly basis: mannequin heads in colorful wigs; jars of brushes, every size; bottles of cosmetics I can’t identify; a standing rack of platform heels at the foot of the bed. We talk through the mirror, our eyes meeting only occasionally. I watch, transfixed, as the makeup gets painted on in thick swaths: red brushstroke-brows, panels of gold on the lids, contoured cheekbones and matte black lips.

Schuster, who uses they/them pronouns, is an AFAB, or assigned female at birth, non-binary drag performer (the acronym AFAB is preferred over “born female,” which connotes a prior state of being as opposed to a forced designation). They do not identify as male or female. Their drag persona, Theydy Bedbug, also uses they/them pronouns; the character was originally named Lady Bedbug, but that changed when Schuster’s pronouns did, around two years ago. The drag world remains largely dominated by cis men performing femininity, although that, too, is changing, particularly in progressive enclaves like Brooklyn. Trans, AFAB, and non-binary performers are carving out spaces for themselves here.

When they opened the door for me on a chilly October evening, Schuster was barefoot, nearly bare-faced, and welcoming. I was given a house tour, a glass of water, and an introduction to the dog, Pumpkin, who is sweet, deaf, and also goes by they/them pronouns (“Pumpkin hasn’t had their dinner yet”). But now, the makeup is coming on, and the transformation is magic to watch. Theydy’s usual look is punk meets clown meets theater kid, which Schuster was in a former life. This is high-femme drag, shimmery exaggerated femininity, with the exception of Theydy’s trademark handlebar moustache. “I try to dress sultry-scary,” Schuster explains, as the moustache (a set of false eyelashes, deconstructed and repurposed) comes together in pieces. “If you’re a cis man on the street, I want you to be aroused and spooked. I want you to be, like, I’m attracted to this, and also very confused about what this says about me.

(Photo: @actionjackson_tm_ on Instagram)

Schuster often gets misgendered: they are tiny and fine-boned, with traditionally feminine features. They admit that “it is a privilege to move in the world…as a pretty girl.” But they repeatedly emphasize that they are not a girl. “I am femme and love makeup and glitter and wigs and many stereotypically ‘girly’ things, but those things are separate from womanhood,” Schuster reiterated in writing, a week after our conversation. “I reject the assumption that being femme and AFAB makes me a woman.” There is a curt, cultivated toughness in these replies to my questions about their gender. At one point, over text message, they ended a line of inquiry by writing simply, “This is as much capacity as I have to answer more gender questions.”

If Schuster gets tired of clarifying, Theydy never does. Their gender crops up everywhere. It’s in the words they use onstage, all over their social media accounts (which are separate from Schuster’s), even stitched into their clothing they often perform with “THEY” or “THEM” printed across their costumes, so no onlooker can be mistaken. Theydy unambiguously advocates for their gender, in a way Schuster can’t always manage in the real world. “If Kelindah doesn’t correct people, it’s sometimes like, ‘Oh well,’” Schuster told me at one point, about the barrage of assumptions, the misplaced “shes”. “That doesn’t happen for Theydy.” Theydy’s capacity for gender campaigning is, apparently, inexhaustible.

Onstage, Theydy is strikingly, explosively theatrical. Their pliant face seems to stretch to expressions beyond what you’d think it capable of: into canyon-wide grins and razor-edged scowls. Theydy seems to be experiencing emotions I’ve never had, emotions that have been clownishly overextended and distorted, as though in a funhouse mirror. Sometimes their performances are humorous, but often, their approach is more aggressive. Just weeks before I spoke with Schuster at home, Theydy performed a piece of original writing at Bushwig, the annual Brooklyn drag festival. It seemed aimed at those (mostly cis men) who misgender them both in and out of drag: “Didn’t they warn you that bedbugs bite?…Face the fury of a once-woman, turned creature, turned stone!” Then they tore into an eggplant with their teeth.

@marcparroquin on Instagram

Although the number of AFAB drag performers on the scene is growing, Schuster doesn’t have much company. Their high-femme, sparkly drag that, as they put it, is not “a king thing,” (meaning the exaggerated masculine performance art that has long been the sole small province of AFAB artists in the drag scene), is still a rarity. “At some point,” they tell me evenly, without self-congratulation or understatement, “I had to just be the thing that I was looking for.”

Schuster, who is 25 years old, was surrounded by theater from a young age: both parents acted in community productions. Although Schuster grew up the child of American ex-pats in Indonesia and Singapore, they eventually came to the U.S. for college, where they studied drama and gender studies, and moved to Brooklyn after graduating in 2015. That year, they became immersed in the drag scene, experimenting briefly with a character named Miss Cuntstrude before Lady Bedbug was born. “Changing my drag name taught me I was allowed to have agency over what people called me,” Schuster recalls. Their gender identity was also cementing at that time; although they felt mostly comfortable in “girl spaces” as a child and young adult, femaleness wasn’t a perfect fit. It was drag—and the exploration of gender the art form requires—that helped Schuster finally understand themselves as non-binary. With drag, they can perform gender extremes, toggle between expressive impulses, continue investigating themselves. They can wash away femininity at the end of the night, toss the microphone aside, and throw on “baseball boy clothes.” As Schuster puts it:  “If it weren’t for Theydy, Kelindah would not be.”

They often speak of their drag and non-drag selves as two wholly separate beings. Theydy is “a bratty sibling…who, like, fucks up my room and makes a huge mess that Kelindah has to clean,” Schuster says, in the glow of the vanity. “When I’m in this part of the process,” they add, meaning during the ritual of makeup, “I’m like halfway between.” Schuster gradually disappears and Theydy emerges, in process that has just occurred before my eyes. They stand back from the mirror to assess the full look: a fitted floor-length black romper, with back cutouts that reveal a wing-like tattoo reaching across thin shoulder blades. A bright red wig with loose buggy eyeballs nestled in it (tonight’s nod to insects), and some sparkly silver boots. The final element is a red corset velcroed over the romper, and embellished with their signature “THEY.” An un-apology.

A little before 11, an Uber arrives to take us to tonight’s gig, which they’re hosting: a charity drag show at Macri Park in Williamsburg, to raise money for a homeless youth center. Schuster chats the whole way across Brooklyn, but as we step into the dim bar, I quickly lose them in the crowd—there are other performers to court, sound systems to check, details to tend to. When they step onto the stage, they expand to fill the space—kicking high and spreading their arms wide—each time revealing the gold glitter sprayed into their underarm hair (“This is biodegradable!”).

While I watch Theydy do their thing, I don’t feel the two personas are as separate as Schuster sometimes says. Theydy is more like an extension, an expansion. A huge, unflagging pledge to what Schuster holds most dear, without any compromise. Once, as we talked, Schuster referred to Theydy as their ego; another time, they called Theydy the Superman to their Clark Kent. These metaphors seem right – Theydy may make clear, grand entrances and exits, but they’re still entirely of Kelindah Schuster. They express Schuster’s desires, frustrations, triumphs, concerns, but they’re able to do it thunderously, with superhuman force, under the sweltering glare of the stage lights.

Performance Picks: Friend-Filled Comedy, Dance at PS1, and More

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THURSDAY

(image via Soooo Many Friends / Facebook)

SoOoO Many Friends
Thursday, November 29 at Lucky Jack’s NYC, 8 pm: FREE 

I think we can all agree that having friends is a good thing. Having friends at a comedy show also seems good, especially if it’s your birthday and you’re hosting the comedy show. If it sounds like I’m talking about something specific, I am: a comedy show aptly entitled Soooo Many Friends, hosted by Magda Cychowski and Michelle Davis. It’s Magda’s birthday, and she “will need to laugh to fill the void in her soul,” something I’m sure a lot of people can relate to. These laughs will (hopefully) be served up by Bobby Hankinson, Dylan Adler, Maggie Crane, and Andrés Govea.

FRIDAY

(image via Vital Joint / Facebook)

Prayerz
Friday, November 30 at Vital Joint, 8 pm: $5-10 sliding scale

Brian Fiddyment’s Prayerz, a variety show focusing on multimedia comedic performance, has been happening approximately monthly at East Williamsburg space Vital Joint for a decent amount of time now. However, as is the unfortunate fate for many a small and scrappy art space, Vital Joint is pivoting away from hosting shows, so this Friday will be the last time to say your prayerz, at least in this venue. For this one, performers will be pairing up, so expect wonderful weirdness from folks like Rachel Kaly and Charlie Bardey, Nick Naney and Sebastian DiNatale, Edy Modica and Eliza Kimberly, and more.

SATURDAY

(flyer via Nite Heist / Facebook)

Nite Heist
Saturday, December 1 at Bizarre Bushwick, 7 pm: $10 suggested donation

As it’s nearing the end of 2018, recurring shows are gearing up for their last shows of the year. That doesn’t mean they’re going to go away forever once the clock strikes 2019, but there’s something that feels satisfying about closing a chapter, however brief, and reflecting on what you’ve accomplished over the last 12 months. Performer Dream Boi’s monthly drag showcase Nite Heist stages their last glittering show of 2018 on Saturday, with performances galore from C’Etait BonTemps, Abby Fantastic, Menthol, and Queen Robert, plus tunes from DJ Ickarus.

SUNDAY

Sarah Kinlaw. 2018. Photo: Stephanie Dimiskovski.

Unboxing the Compass, Bending the Axis
Sunday, December 2 at MoMA Ps1, 4 pm: $15

Performance artist and musician Sarah Kinlaw has had her hands in a lot of projects over the years, from co-directing 2016’s massive surveillance-themed movement piece Authority Figure to writing and performing her own music. Her latest piece, created in collaboration with Kathleen Dycaico, Kellian Delice, Quenton Stuckey, and Tara-Jo Tashna, will be staged at MoMA PS1. Dance and sound take center stage, as bodies intermingle with industrial fans and an array of onstage microphones that not only serve as traditional voice amplification, but ways to make the very sounds of choreography in motion more tangible for an audience. Plus, you might as well see cool, weird art in Long Island City while you still can, as Amazon’s takeover continues to loom.

Williamsburg Gets Still Sportier With RYU Store

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After The North Face’s recent (custom-scented) opening in Williamsburg, another athletic lifestyle brand is following suit: Canadian brand RYU just opened its first-ever New York City store in the artsy-turned-sporty Brooklyn neighborhood.

The space, which feels true-to-neighborhood with a restored factory vibe (think exposed brick, minimalist walls and open ceilings) is inside the historic Lewis Steel Building, a recently-renovated retail space that also houses McNally Jackson and Blue Bottle Coffee. RYU’s corner unit features wraparound windows that beam proudly onto Berry and North 4th Streets.

RYU stands for Respect Your Universe, and the Vancouver-based brand is hoping to do just that with this Williamsburg space. With every opening (five stores in Canada and a recently opened one in Venice Beach, California), the company looks to be an important part of the neighborhood. In Williamsburg, partnerships include sponsoring workout classes at local gyms and outfitting instructors at Rumble Fitness.

The clothing is sleek and minimalist, both trendy and technical, made in mostly neutral tones like black, brown and grey and often featuring the brand’s patented fabric, Ethos, which is sweat resistant, waterproof, pill-free and cooling. It’s designed to be worn on casual Fridays, to the gym, and in everyday life. Chinos are intended to be worn running errands, graphic designed t-shirts can be worn during workouts, and leggings can be combined with colored accessories to have lunch with friends.

A four-piece collection was curated by Stash, a New York City graffiti artist, to commemorate the store’s opening. The capsule includes four items, including both graphic tees and sweatshirts featuring the word “Respect” designed by Futura, CES, WANE and Stash in each artist’s signature art aesthetic.

RYU is now open at 76 N 4th St, and clothing retails from $60 to $150.

Love Comes in Spurts at Museum of Sex’s ‘Punk Lust’ Exhibit

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(Photos: Scott Lynch)

“Compared to the free love ethos of the hippies or the body-centric hedonism of Disco, Punk was not really about sex”, write the curators of the thoughtful and often thrilling Punk Lust exhibition that opened last night at the Museum of Sex. “Rather,” they continue, “Punk worked the psychosexual dynamics of sexuality as a matter of politics and provocation. If it had had a motto it would not have been ‘let’s fuck’, but ‘fuck you’ or ‘fuck off.’”

Sexuality as an act of aggression is everywhere in evidence in the more than 300 photographs, films, fashion pieces, artworks, and artifacts in the show, all of which are on loan from some 50 private collections as well as many of the musicians themselves, a few of whom, such as Snooky and Tish Bellomo of the Sic F*cks (who also ran Manic Panic on St. Marks) were on hand last night for the opening party. Director Jim Jarmusch and artist Lee Quinones were also among the large, rowdy crowd checking out the show.

Punk sexuality was also about upending society’s notions of beauty and messing with gender norms, and much of the aesthetics and attitude in the artifacts here overlap with the emergence of radical queer culture. The exploding commercial sex industry of the 1970s both influenced and supported punk sexual provocation as well. And beyond any sort of intellectual, historical, or even erotic interest you might find here, Punk Lust is also an irresistibly nostalgic experience for viewers of a certain age, those of us who smashed our way through this glorious mess the first time around.

“Punk Lust: Raw Provocation 1971-1985” will be on view at the Museum of Sex through November 30, 2019.


The Secret Life of New York City Christmas Trees

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(Photos: Summer Cartwright)

The concrete jungle is getting some added green this month, all thanks to the famous (or infamous, if they affect walking home at rush hour) Christmas tree and wreath vendors that line the city’s sidewalks.

Much like the city’s population, these vendors are transplants who come from all over (Alaska, North Carolina, upstate New York, Pennsylvania, etc.). With them they bring trees (ranging from $40 to $180 and princess to white pine), and other pine things (wreaths, branches, basically everything your mom would love to stock the living room with).

Some, like Rick Bishop, are yearlong street vendors that swap their usual goods or add some additional items for Christmas cheer. Others kind of just appear, as Bishop puts it, “as soon as the leftover turkey is gone.”

While it might seem odd to buy a Christmas tree off of the street on your way home from a Beyonce-themed kickboxing class, it’s one of the few options New Yorkers have when living in Manhattan — unless they’re ready and willing to shove a six footer through subway doors.

Bishop’s been coming to the Union Square Greenmarket for more than 30 years, and started bringing princess pine wreaths along with his potatoes (in chip, laratte, baby fingerling, German butterball and purple Peruvian forms) come November.

What’s selling this year?

Burlap bows, which Bishop and employee Maria Muller say seem to show a minimalistic trend for 2018.

Their pines come from Mountain Sweet Berry Farm in the Catskills Mountains upstate, and come in a bunch of different sets. The most popular (and most able bodied to be squashed into a suitcase to bring home for holidays) is the 12-inch wreath, which costs $38 and can last for years, he says, so long as you don’t mind the yellow color it’ll turn.

Bishop says his booth sells hundreds and hundreds of wreaths and pine displays, which, for $20 to $400 in price depending on size, makes the case for street tree vendors even more understandable. On top of that, these sellers don’t have to buy street permits.

Somewhere deep within a New York City ordinance, there’s a Christmas Clause (get it?). According to a Newsday article, this legislation basically gives anyone with a tree free range to sell it anywhere.

When the holidays go away, so too will the sidewalk vendors, but like the time it takes to shed away the December weight, they’ll stick around for a little while after the new year, Bishop says.

He said most people who sell do so until the last tree goes, so if you’re a grinch about the added roadblocks, ba humbug your way to Martha’s Vineyard until January.

Joe Gallagher’s Art Puts NYC Street Life on the Canvas

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“Moments in Time” (via www.joegart.com)

With its effortlessly cool vibe, Superfine restaurant has been a DUMBO staple for nearly two decades. Owned by three women–a chef, an interior designer and a fine artist– the space is designed to enhance art in the community once almost entirely populated by artists. Tanya Rynd and Cara Lee Sparry curate the 30-foot wall adjacent the bar months in advance to highlight different artists every month. This is their second time showcasing Joe Gallagher, in what’s said to be his largest show to date.

“Watermelon in the Sky”

The self-taught Brooklyn resident paints contemporary art that interprets what he sees in his everyday life using bright colors and graphic-style cartoon characters that he developed himself.

“Lately, most of my inspiration comes from observing people in New York. I’m interested in the decisions that people make that impact the direction of their lives,” Gallagher says. “Some of my inspiration comes from a wide array of human emotion from facial expressions that I see: happy, sad, angry, and more. It’s interesting for me to imagine what a day in the life of another person is like, and I think about that a lot when I’m creating.”

The characters portrayed in the 16 new paintings displayed in “New Faces” reflect people he sees on the train, the street, or on their phones, Gallagher says. The vibrant works often feature exaggerated and intertwined eyes and other features, which represent people who live together in different settings. “Sometimes my ideas are a summarization of something that happened throughout the day, other times I use symbolism to express my subconscious thoughts. My art is a representation of my personal experiences combined with exaggerated imagination.”  

“New Faces” will be up at Superfine, 126 Front St., Dumbo, from Dec. 3 to Jan. 6, with a reception for the exhibition on Dec. 13 from 5-10pm.

Eager For Uighur: Will the Food of China’s Persecuted Muslim Minority Get Its Chipotle Moment?

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(Photos: Nandini Rathi)

Kudret Yakup, born in the desert town of Kashgar in China, is on a mission to make kebab conquer the world. The 36-year-old restaurateur is the founder of Kebab Empire, a 24-hour Uyghur cuisine eatery in Hell’s Kitchen.

Kebab is on one of the most prominent dishes in Uighur food. Beyond that too, however, Uighur cuisine is becoming more visible by the day in the multicultural hotspots of the U.S. The food is from China, but its proponents don’t prefer to call it “Chinese.”

“The food is all traditional from back home. We eat lots of meat — Uighur people are a nomadic people and traditionally, meat means lamb,” says Yakup. At Kebab Empire, there are the signature lamb kebab skewers, but also beef, chicken, salmon and eggplant ones to increase options for the uninitiated. Customers can choose combinations of these meats, along with salad, noodles or rice, while availing themselves of free tea, yogurt and bread.

One of more than 50 ethnic minorities in China, the Uighurs hail from the restive Xinjiang province in China’s northwest or its neighboring Central Asian countries. Meat, which is always halal and usually lamb, is abundantly used, as are rice and hand-pulled wheat noodles called laghmen. There are soups, the deep-fried snack called samsa, dumplings called manti and the tandoor-baked bread, naan, to name a few. Cumin is one of the most common spices, variously used to flavor kebabs and polow — the celebrated rice dish cooked in a seasoned broth with meat and vegetables such as onions and carrots. Red and green peppers, coriander and onion-flavored greens also make frequent appearances.

While Uighur food is similar to Uzbek food, it is unique as it also takes cues from East Asia. There is, for instance, the phonetic resemblance between hand-pulled Uighur laghmen noodles and lamian, the hand-pulled noodles common in northern China, which suggests a transferred influence between the two.

“What we got from the Chinese was the vegetables and the frying. They eat pork, which we don’t eat. But we took the vegetables and that became a part of Uighur food. Uighur dishes are a combination of meat and vegetables. This is the fusion food. But not all Uighurs would agree to that,” says a recent Uighur immigrant from Urumqi, China to Fairfax, Virginia, who requested anonymity out of fear of interrogation his family in Xinjiang.

While Xinjiang is unequivocally a Chinese territory, the Uighurs, who are a Turkic Muslim people of Central Asian origin with their own language (also called Uighur), have long chafed under the Chinese communist government that penalizes them for practicing their religion and maintains close surveillance in the region. In spite of limited access of the region to foreign media, there have been a number of news reports of human rights violations against Uighurs since 2017 with details about Uighur men being forced into mass “re-education” camps where they are reportedly subjected to physical and psychological abuse. Besides such violations of right to religion, expression and privacy, Uighurs have found their freedom of movement outside the country curtailed. Many Uighurs in the US now fear for family members in Xinjiang, and, hence, don’t talk about these issues openly.

The Uighur community in the U.S. is small. According to the Uighur American Association, the largest number of Uighurs (estimated to be 5,000 – 6,000) in the U.S. live near Washington and neighboring Fairfax, Virginia, has emerged as prominent settling location for Uighur asylum seekers since the early 2000s. A few hundred are estimated to be living in Los Angeles, San Francisco and Houston. In New York, the number is still no more than a hundred.

New York has long had a few options for Uighur food, even though most of these remained concentrated its Russian-language dominated neighborhoods of Brighton Beach and Sheepshead Bay in Brooklyn. These were generally run by Uzbek or Uighur immigrants from former-USSR countries. But there is a new boom of eateries in progress now around the U.S.

Over the past three years, four Uighur restaurants have opened in the Washington D.C. area. Los Angeles, San Francisco and Houston, Texas, have at least two each. And Boston has one too. Yakup built his business in New York by starting with food carts in December 2016 and then opening a food court outlet in a mall in the New York borough of Queens. Finally, he opened Kebab Empire in December 2017.

While many contemporary Uighur restaurants bring in Uighur chefs and are family-owned businesses, Yakup is on a somewhat different track. After graduating from Harvard University in 2010, he worked briefly for a California-based startup, and then as a financial investor in Xinjiang before he relocated to New York in 2016 with his family to apply his product-development skills in the food business. “I have entered the food business to be in it for the next 20-30 years,” he says. He has been working to standardize his brand’s recipes and plans to advance the empire of kebab along the lines of the Chipotle chain, starting with New York City, and aiming to go global.

Kebab Empire.

“There is a history of very strong food entrepreneurship in Xinjiang,” says Roberts, a cultural anthropologist specializing in Uighur culture and professor at George Washington University. Politics aside, he explains, Uighur food has been highly popular among the Han Chinese and many Uighurs have successfully run street food outlets and busy restaurants all over China since the late 1980s.

“Uighurs are very business-oriented people. They can adjust to different foreign societies and start businesses,” says Omer Kanat, vice president of the Uighur American Association. The food businesses have long allowed many Uighurs – both in mainland China as well as in the U.S. — to earn a better livelihood without necessitating language fluency, which most lack at first. “The target customers are the Americans. And also the Han Chinese — who also like Uighur food,” says Kanat.

“Uighur is Uighur and Chinese is Chinese,” Ilshat Hassan Kokbore, the president of the Uighur American Association, told the Washington Post last year. “Culturally, food is part of the Uighur identity.”

“In the context of China, Uighurs have looked at food as an identity marker,” says Roberts. “In Xinjiang, even if they are not very religious, they would often avoid going to Chinese restaurants, because they do not consider Chinese food to be halal.”

Food can evoke of a time in the past. “I wanted to do something related with my ethnicity, my religion and my country,” says Yakup. “Food is something that has a huge impact on ethnicity, any group, any nation. You are what you eat and that’s not just true for Uighur people.”

“Restaurants are important social locations in a diaspora,” says Roberts. “Some of the owners of Uighur restaurants feel proud to show their national culture and it becomes like a way for others get to know about them as a people. It’s a kind of food diplomacy for a people without a state.”

Williamsburg’s Toddlers Get a Center For Meditation and Mindfulness

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(Photos: Jess Rohan)

Williamsburg has more millennials than any other neighborhood in a major US city, and a new meditation and wellness center is joining a growing number of services catering to the burgeoning #strollermafia there.

The Happinest, opening this month, will cater to kids of different ages as well as adults. The center’s meditation and mindfulness techniques are drawn from a mix of sources, including the Tibetan tradition. Sessions start around $18, and there’ll be a weekly free session for people who can’t afford the fee.

Founder Charlotte Gibson discovered the benefits of meditation in her personal life, and then began using it with her students as an elementary school teacher in Australia. The changes in students’ attitudes and behaviors were dramatic, Gibson said, and soon, she was leading school-wide meditation sessions. She quit her job, started a business teaching mindfulness in schools, and eventually moved to New York.

The Happinest will teach mindfulness principles to kids as young as 2. A three-hour session for toddlers will move through a range of activities, like matching faces with emotions, lightly active games with balls, and guided rest.

“Meditation and mindfulness are so versatile and the benefits are so rich for any type of person,” Gibson said, but New Yorkers are especially in need of the head space–especially little ones born into the hectic city.

“There’s such a higher need in New York, and these children are being brought up in an environment we already find challenging,” Gibson said. It’s often easier for people to imagine the benefit of meditation in stressful adult lives than it is to recognize the emotionally charged experiences of early childhood.

Meditation is great for kids, Gibson said, because it teaches them how to deal with things out of their control. “When it’s stormy weather outside, we can’t control that, but how can we make sure we stay warm and dry?”

Community events, like movie nights and nutrition workshops, are also planned for the cozy studio at 170 S. 1st Street. The Happinest won’t start holding sessions until 2019, but their retail section is up and running, selling books and wellness products like crystals, supplements and CBD oil.

‘Belgian Diner’ Benelux Hopes to Appeal to Post-Rave Bushwick

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(image courtesy of Benelux)

After five years near the Morgan stop, bar and restaurant Tutu’s closed up shop in November 2017. While some vacant storefronts lie empty for what seems like eternities—nearby sports bar Tiltz had a two-year gap between announcing it would open and actually opening—the Bogart Street space is already home to a new tenant: Benelux, a bar and restaurant serving European-inspired food and cocktails that officially opened for lunch, brunch, and dinner yesterday.

Benelux is owned by John Moskowitz and Sam Esterman, and designed by Moskowitz’s wife Christina Salway; the trio is also behind Williamsburg bar Little King. Moskowitz says he didn’t feel there were many dining options in the area that were “normal middle-ground,” in terms of vibe and price. Bushwick is “not just for raves anymore,” he jokes, so they’re aiming to be a place that’s grown-up while still being casual and fun.

Benelux is “unofficially” a Belgian diner, drawing gastronomic inspiration (as well as its name) from Belgium, the Netherlands, and Luxembourg. As such, the menu features stroopwafels, schnitzel, mitraillette (a “Belgian classic” sandwich with roasted ham, cheese, and pickles stuffed with fries), and a $60 “sausage fest” of bratwurst, kielbasa, and cheddarwurst galore, plus various sides. Less daring or more solitary consumers can order sausages individually.

Benelux’s cabbage steak (image courtesy of Benelux)

Though there’s plenty of meat on the menu, Moskowitz tells Bedford + Bowery, “if you’re a vegetarian, you should feel like we did some work for you.” Any of their burgers can be made with an Impossible Burger patty, and among the sausage, steak, and oysters, there’s a hearty “cabbage steak” (a thick slice of cabbage slow-braised and seared, topped with pecorino, sunflower seeds, and pickled pomegranate seeds) and an entrée of lentils and vegetables.

They’ve chosen “not to work with the two major purveyors of spirits,” Southern Glazer’s Wine and Spirits and Empire Merchants, companies Moskowitz calls “kind of like the liquor mafia.” Instead, they carry only spirits from small brands, which he notes is both fun and “challenging.” All their wine is natural, and there’s a separate gin and tonic menu in addition to their main cocktail offerings, which is “a very European thing to do.”

(image courtesy of Benelux)

They’re serving brunch as well (though American-style waffles will take precedence over Belgian), and plan to have a DJ at their first brunch, which Moskowitz admits will either be “fun” or “irritating.”

Overall, he’d like the restaurant to be a “catch-all place” with something for everyone. “We really aim to be a neighborhood place that you can also take a date to, or show your mom how well you’re doing out here,” he says.

Benelux is located at 25 Bogart Street in Bushwick.

Amy Schumer’s Company Stages Some Short Attention Span Theater

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(Photos courtesy of The Collective NY)

The closest thing I can think of to telling a story in 10 minutes is a Saturday Night Live skit, I tell Ross DeGraw and Sayra Player. They’re the artistic directors for The Collective NY, a theater company co-founded by Amy Schumer, and they’ve been working tirelessly to produce C:10, a series of 14 brand new, 10-minute plays.

The series, currently at the Royal Family Performing Arts Spaces on W 46th Street, isn’t quite SNL. There are no alien abductions or Target ladies. The three sets of plays, called “Capture,” “Bound” and “Escape,” highlight issues from concussions in the NFL, to abortion, to white supremacy. “We didn’t choose to tackle these, these topics chose to be told,” DeGraw says. “We bring in plays from our writers that weren’t specifically written for us or for this time, but were written out of their soul, their heart, what was motivating them.”

Bound’s NFL series, called “Burnt,” features ex-Seattle Seahawk Jimmy Gary Jr. playing a football player who’s gone to visit his former teammate, played by Man vs. Food star Casey Webb. It becomes clear that Webb’s character is suffering from a mental illness as a result of his NFL career, and the powerful scene details what home life is like for a former athlete. “We don’t shy away from the hard-hitting topics,” DeGraw says. “I personally don’t think that the theater tries to teach anybody anything, but it just tries to illuminate what’s happening. If you’re fighting a political battle or personal battle or your fighting a romantic battle and you’re in the trenches, what the theater does is allow us to step back and see our world and come to conclusions based on that, from a safe distance.”

Other plays in the Bound series cover pyramid schemes, actors exploiting the homeless, gun control and mental health, and each vignette features a new set of actors and actresses. Many of them have been involved in Inside Amy Schumer in some capacity–largely acting in the comedy special–proving what DeGraw and Player describe to me as a sense of community. Everyone in The Collective NY looks out for each other.

Founded in 2007 by Schumer and actor Kevin Kane, The Collective NY has grown to become an ensemble of about 60 people. “People who are regulars on TV all the time are doing a 10-minute play–you don’t see that very often, except for that they have something at stake in the company and they know what it is in the end,” Player says.

Player isn’t paid to be an artistic director of C:10, but has been involved for seven years because she believes in the cause. Many productions have been made into full-length plays and short films, and Player believes in the community The Collective NY selects. “They are real seeds of creation, that I feel good helping nurture,” she says.

C:10 runs at the Royal Family Performing Arts Spaces through December 16, with multiple performances nightly from Wednesday through Sunday. Tickets are $25, and $15 with purchases of two or more performances.

Bro Ho Ho! Here Are the East Village Bars to Avoid During SantaCon

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SantaCon hits Manhattan on Dec. 8. While some bars– like the Continental, closing Dec. 14– are letting costumers know “WE LOVE SANTACON!”, other New Yorkers are preparing for the worst. NJ Transit, Metro North, and the LIRR have issued bans on train booze, and New York City Council speaker Corey Johnson has issued a call, albeit only on Twitter, to “BAN OUTLAW QUARANTINE” the annual invasion of Douchey Ol’ St. Nicks.

If you’ve seen our photos from previous years, you already know the East Village is going to get hit hard by the Red Menace, even though one of the crawl’s official rules is “Don’t fuck with NYC.” Now the organizers have confirmed it with a list of official participants that’s heavy on East Village drink dens.

Here, via SantaCon’s website, is where to either avoid or flock to, depending on whether your favorite director is Wes Anderson or Michael Bay.

The VNYL
100 3rd Ave. @ 13th St.
11a-9p

SideBar
120 E 15th St.
11a-7p

Solas
232 E 9th st
12p – 9p

Central Bar
109 E 9th st
11a – 7p

Pink’s
242 E 10th St
11a – 8p

Crocodile Lounge
325 E 14th St
11a – 7p

Doc Holliday’s
141 Ave A
12p – 7p

Finnerty’s
221 2nd Ave
11a – 7p

The Continental
25 3rd Ave
11a – 8p

Coyote Ugly
153 1st Avenue
11a – 7p

Juke Bar
196 2nd Ave
11a -8p

Vazacs Horseshoe Bar
108 Avenue B
12p – 7p

Professor Thom’s
219 2nd Ave
11a – 8p

Pheonix Bar
447 E. 13th st
11a – 7p

Nowhere Bar
322 E. 14th st
11a – 7p

Naturally, SantaCon’s detractors are humbugging hard on Twitter:


Yucky 1950s Buses Without Wifi or USB Ports Are Back On the Road

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(Photo: Daniel Maurer)

It’s December, which means New Yorkers of all ages are all trying to catch a glimpse of… no, not Santa’s sleigh, silly. We’re talking about an even more fabled means of transportation. The New York Transit Museum’s vintage trains and buses have officially hit the roads and rails. We saw bus #9098, a General Motors model from 1958, rolling down East 8th Street this morning, and others will be cruising around town this month.

Among the vintage buses that will be traveling along 42nd Street and parked at both Union and Herald Squares will be a Fifth Avenue Coach Lines prototype from 1956, one of the nation’s first air-conditioned transit buses; a couple of midcentury buses with bubble-shaped “Fishbowl” windshields, used from the late 50s to the early 80s; and a GM 5303 that was built in 1966, rebuilt in 1984, and used till 1990.

This week until Dec. 21, the buses will be out and about on weekdays from 9am to 5pm. The trains, meanwhile, have been running since Thanksgiving weekend, and will continue running through Dec. 30. You can catch a 1930s R1-9, aka the “Holiday Shopper’s Special,” departing from the 2nd Avenue F stop at 10am, noon, 2pm, and 4pm on Sundays only. It’ll make stops at Broadway–Lafayette Street/Bleecker Street, West 4th Street–Washington Square, and various uptown stops all the way up to 125th Street.

Please realize that these buses hail from a pre-wifi era and plan your Insta uploads accordingly.

Performance Picks: Talk Hole’s GAPE, A Senior Center Collaboration, and More

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WEDNESDAY

(image via Talk Hole / Facebook)

GAPE: Gift Activating Public Experience
Wednesday, December 5 at The Oculus at Westfield World Trade Center, 7:30 pm: FREE

While government organizations like USPS are taking the day off today to mourn George H.W. Bush and making my packages arrive in the mail a day later than they’re supposed to, which I will continue to be excessively salty about, others are taking to the streets for a little public engagement. Or shall I say, engape-ment? Anyhow, weirdo comedy queers Talk Hole (Stephen Phillips-Horst and Eric Schwartau) are taking over the World Trade Center Oculus for a seasonal evening of jokes, surprises, gifts, and gapes. Maybe not the last two, this is a public space after all, but you never know with these guys. Joining the duo will be Cole Escola, Ayo Edebiri, Lily Marotta, Ruby McCollister, Alex Schmidt, and DJ Physical Therapy.

THURSDAY

(flyer courtesy of Harris Mayersohn)

Harris Mayersohn: Without A Shirt
December 6-8 at Vital Joint, 8 pm (Thursday and Friday and 7:30 pm): $7 advance, $10 doors

We all feel weird and/or gross about our bodies from time to time (sometimes all the time), but not everyone makes a show about these feelings. Comedian Harris Mayersohn did, in which he explores the tangled brain-web that is body dysmorphia and the claim that he may just have “the funniest body in America.” It’s not easy going at such a topic alone, so on each of the show’s three nights he’ll be joined by two other comedians doing stand-up sets; Thursday welcomes Caroline Yost and Talib Babb.

FRIDAY

Zapatografia / Shoegraphy
December 6-8 at Abrons Arts Center, 7:30 pm: $21

Performer and choreographer Larissa Velez-Jackson is no stranger to working with dancers in an older age group; Yackez, the zany duo she has with her husband, staged a show in 2017 featuring a mix of young, trained dancers and senior women from the aerobics class Velez-Jackson teaches during the day. This time, she’s recruited members of the Henry Street Settlement Senior Center, who are neighbors with Abrons Arts Center. Through comedy, dance, props, and more, the performance attempts to parse through the tensions and unique dynamics existing between longtime working-class residents of the Lower East Side and the artistic community (often young transplants, often white) that flocks to the area for artistic reasons.

SATURDAY

(image via Caveat / Facebook)

Thirsty White Ally
Saturday, December 8 at Caveat, 6:30 pm: $8 advance, $10 doors

If you saw that wretched Ariana Grande thinkpiece published the other day (and bless your sane heart if you don’t know what I’m talking about), you can probably agree with me that striving too hard to look woke can be a bad thing. Comedian Rachel Joravsky’s new satirical show Thirsty White Ally aims to enthusiastically educate on how to correctly be an ally to marginalized groups in America, or at least how to try and maybe fail but still really feel like you did something good. Accompanying this woke display will be standup by Rachel Pegram, Karen Chee, and Dewayne Perkins.

Newtown Radio Ups Its Game With a Street-Level Studio

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Newtown Radio is taking it to the streets. The eclectic internet radio station just moved to a ground-level space that’s expected to give it more visibility in East Williamsburg and more room for art and music shows.

Founded in 2009, Newtown had been broadcasting out of a practice space hidden in the Danbro Studios building, a former brewery off the Montrose stop that now houses rehearsal studios. After a week off the air, the station has now moved down to a street-level storefront there, at 260 Meserole Street.

The move is apt, since Newtown Radio was inspired partly by East Village Radio, the internet station that had a street-level space on First Avenue. Mark Brinda, co-founder of Newtown, said he wondered why there wasn’t a similar endeavor in the Newtown Creek area, “where all the music and music-related events were happening.”

The pet project now works with about 60 or 70 volunteer DJs who spin everything from new wave to Nigerian, including selectors from local spots like Spectacle Theater and feminist witch boutique Cult Party.

After a 10-month buildout, the new space, Brinda said, has a massive wall for displaying artwork (there’ll be an opening next Friday for artist Michael Yinger) and bleachers for watching shows. Friday evenings after 9, the station’s DJs can book the room for their own purposes. Upcoming events include a launch party hosted by Dali Haus, an album release and listening party hosted by Bliss Point, and a one-year anniversary hosted by Buttered Tapes. In addition, Masha Koblyakova and Lenora Jayne will offer regular educational sessions for female DJs who want to learn how to spin but don’t have easy access to equipment.

Eventually, once the station upgrades its website over the course of the next months, shows will be video-streamed in a manner similar to that of another North Brooklyn internet station, The Lot Radio, which is currently broadcasting from a Times Square popup.

Tune into Newtown Radio here.

Listen to the New Lame Drivers Song As You Finally Delete Twitter

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(Photo: Travis Harrison)

With their latest single, Brooklyn indie trio Lame Drivers want you know to know they’re done playing the “Winners Game” of social media. “I’m not trying to be a conqueror,” rasps frontman Jason Sigal over his surfy guitar riffs.

But can a DIY band get people to their shows—like tonight’s at Coney Island Baby—if they stop searching for likes?

Pulling inspiration from bands like The Gizmos and the late-’00s sound of Brooklyn punk band Cause Co-Motion!, “Winners Game” opens with Joe Posner’s enticing bass and Jeff Wood’s snappy drums. Sigal says the song “comes from thinking out how social networks restructure society and modify our behavior.” Although the band has made lifelong friends via social media, they find it disappointing that the number of likes you get are essential to feeling “like a winner.”

(Photo: Jesse Renee Hopkins)

Not that Lame Drivers—which, as of this writing, have clocked 1,007 tweets and 334 followers— is giving up social media.  “We still have accounts as individuals and as a band, we are just grappling with these issues like everyone else,” Sigal clarifies. “So the song imagines quitting Twitter by posting on Twitter, and it’s really upfront, like a tweet.”

Sigal also explains that the song is meant to call out the other winners in the social media game, corporations that own and sell personal data to advertisers for financial gain. “I want to believe that good things rise to the top when they are networked, but negative things rise faster,” says Sigal.

Check out “Winners Game” above. Oh, and follow Lame Drivers on Facebook and Twitter.

Slurp Down Some Tsukemen at Hotly Anticipated Ramen Joint TabeTomo

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(Photos: Erica Commisso)

Everywhere you turn in the East Village, there’s a place to indulge in a young person staple: ramen. Joining the ranks is TabeTomo, a new ramen joint that soft-opened on Avenue A this week.

Tomotsugu Kubo’s new venture specializes in tsukemen, a pork-broth dipping ramen, brewed by for over 60 hours. Noodles are served at room temperature for firmness, in contrast to the very hot broth. Midway through the meal, a heated stone is thrown into the dish to slow cooling. Not to fear, though, they also serve traditional Jiro-style ramen brewed in the same way as the restaurant’s specialty. For both options, noodle toppings cost extra depending on the ingredient, but range from $1 to $5, or $6 for a three-topping sampler.

Kubo is the Japanese chef who helped add Tokyo-based restaurant Tsujita to the Los Angeles restaurant scene. Lines for the West Coast hotspot are excruciating, and the much-anticipated opening in New York could very well follow suit, especially considering the lack of tsukemen options in the city. For the first few days of the opening, the restaurant got busier than expected and sold out of many items.

The soft menu also features small dishes like karaage (Japanese fried chicken with tartar and ponzu) and otsukemono (an array of homemade Japanese pickles) alongside donburi, which are rice bowls topped with pork belly, tuna sashimi or crispy chicken.

The two-page beverage menu is extensive and all-inclusive, boasting nigori, sake, beers–though admittedly just Sapporo variations–and wines broken down by flavor. Sodas, coffees and several tea options are also available at totally reasonable prices. Most teas are $2, beers are on par with East Village pricing, and glasses of wine run as cheap as $8.

The only problem with the soft-opening menu, though, is that it doesn’t really cater to vegetarians. Ramen and tsukemen are out because of the pork broth. Most rice dishes are topped with meat, save the $3 bowl of plain white rice. Add the chamame (homemade boiled edamame) and otsukemono, and you’ve got the entire vegetarian selection.

TabeTomo is at 131 Avenue A, between St. Marks and East 9th St., and the restaurant is open this week for dinner from 5pm to 11pm. There are no reservations welcome–only walk ins are accepted.

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