If you’re a millennial who wanted Danny Tanner to be your daddy, prepare for him to be ruined forever by Full House! The Musical! Get ready for it: Danny is to be played by diabolical gossip Perez Hilton. The unauthorized parody of the TV show will appear at Theatre 80 from Sept. 10 through Nov. 29 after it premieres in Toronto in August.
In the new one from the creators of the Saved by the Bell and Showgirls musicals, your sweetest memories of Danny (talking to DJ in the kitchen or holding Michelle, aka the Olsen twins, in his lap) will be corrupted as he loses his “Dad Speech” powers. The press releases promises a “wacky and hilarious descent into madness as he slowly turns from wholesome Danny Tanner to foul-mouth and dark Bob Saget.”
Yep, Hilton will show us the man who hid beneath the sweet, dorky character for so many years – the actor who, in real life, jokes about screwing goats. If you’re more of a Jesse Katsopolis fan (I mean, that gorgeous hair and those dimples?!), don’t worry, he’ll be there as well, played by John Duff.
Next in the lineup is Joey Gladstone, to be played by Seth Blum. Now that we think of it, Joey’s woodchuck puppet is way creepier than Bob Saget’s dick jokes.
The kids will be there, too. Amanda Nicholas, Marguerite Halcovage, and Marshall Louise will star as DJ, Stephanie and Michelle (this time, it seems like one actor will suffice for the latter).
Directed by Bob and Tobly McSmith, the musical will have you singing along to songs like “Have Mercy on My Heart/Don’t Touch the Hair,” “Look at the these Assholes,” and – most importantly – “Our Family is Better Than Your Family.”
Theatre 80 is located at 80 St Marks Place. Get your tickets here. Tickets range from $25 to $50.
