(Photo: Annual Mr. Lower East Side Pageant Facebook)
This year of our Lord two thousand and fifteen might well be remembered as the year Mr. Lower East Side left the Lower East Side. The annual pageant cum notorious raunch fest and queer extravaganza celebrating the male form in all its sweaty, smelly, hairy glory, now in its 16th year of existence, was originally scheduled to happen in January at Cake Shop on the Lower East Side. But the show was cancelled at the last minute due to the “fun police,” according to event organizer “Rev.” Jen Miller (also the operator of our favorite Troll Museum). Thankfully, the good people at the Lucky 13 Saloon reached out to Rev. Jen and offered their space for the annual event.
But wait, the Lucky 13 Saloon is in… Gowanus? According to Rev, the move is simply, sadly a sign of the times. “There is almost no creativity left here, no venues where you can do something imaginative or daring,” she wrote to B+B in an e-mail. “Everything that made the LES bohemian and fun has been sucked away by greed and idiocy.”
Rev knows the Lower East Side pretty well– after all, she was hosting open mics on Ludlow Street 20 years ago. Back then, people made the trip to the LES all the way from Philadelphia and New Jersey. “They made the trek for the ART,” she wrote. “They weren’t there to do lines of blow and vomit on my doorstep (though probably some did.) They were there to participate in a creative scene full of brilliant, caring people.”
Rev blames the influx of “bro douchebags” and “Valley Girls who only come to the LES to drink now-overpriced beverages while screeching in my ear or staring into their phones like zombies.” And she has a point– the reason for the pageant’s exile to Brooklyn points to a similar whitewashing of the neighborhood and signs that the old-school sensibilities and grimier establishments are no match for more luxurious options.
Back in January, Cake Shop issued a plea for help on its Facebook page, asking for a “like-minded investor” to come forth and buy anywhere from a quarter to nearly half of the business. According to Rev, with this in mind, the venue thought best to play it safe with its programming in the interest of attracting investors. “They were recently fined for a variety of stupid things and are struggling. They couldn’t risk possible violations like over-capacity or some lunatic art star whipping out his wenis,” she wrote. “I love Cake Shop and it will be missed this year.”
Rev says she hopes Mr. Lower East Side will return to its home base (a neighborhood that Rev still calls home thanks to her rent-stabilized lease which she says she “pretty much went through hell” to hold onto), but is doubtful that could happen. But she promised she would never change the name, since she’s a traditionalist. “The Lower East Side is a state of mind. It travels with you,” she wrote. “When I was in Idaho or say, South Dakota or any of the not Lower East Side places I’ve been to, wearing my elf ears and go-go boots, it was apparent that I was from a different planet; that planet being the Lower East Side.”
But the pageant is also embracing its new home, Gowanus, and some of the weirdness that neighborhood has (thankfully) retained. As a nod to the new locale, Mr. Lower East Side has added a new title in addition to the runner-up prize of Mr. Tribeca (the title holder of which has the honor of wearing a crown fashioned to look like, oh let’s call it the territory South Virginia): Mr. Gowanus, not our own emphasis on the last syllable.
Don’t miss your chance to witness this historical Mr. Lower East Side Pageant, happening tonight at the Lucky 13 Saloon. If you’re a woman or a gay man, you get to participate in the voting process. And for just six bones you can catch, well, there’s really no telling how many bones participate in the one-minute talent, swimsuit, and evening wear competitions. Rev explained: “I have no idea how many contestants will perform. I never do. Surprise is a big element of the show.”
