(Photos: Paula Ho)
What’s it like to stand in line at Trader Joe’s amidst a blizzard warning? We joined the 30 or so people waiting to get in and documented our quest for kale, minute-by-minute.
12:15pm: Governor Cuomo declares state of emergency. Effective immediately.
12:57: Oh, what the hell, let’s hit up Trader Joe’s (Union Square).
1:14: Just walked by Westside Market. Their employees just packed up the last of their glorious outdoor fruit display. The entrance now looks rather naked.
1:16: There’s a line to get into TJ’s. It’s meandering past Joe’s Pizza. Everyone is sporting their version of #restingbitchface.
1:20: Hands officially numb. The line just got longer. Haven’t moved, though.
1:21: Shoppers leaving TJ’s are looking at those still in line pitifully.
1:22: Woman walks by and loudly exclaims, “I’m not even going to try to stand in that line.” Thanks for your input, ma’am.
1:26: Ooo! The line just moved! Officially 10 people away from the door.
1:27: Ushered in by smiling TJ’s employee. “We appreciate your wait. Enjoy your shopping.”
1:28: Man, bundled up in several coats and standing sketchily by the entrance, is taking a video of the line and laughing like a hyena. Thanks.
1:29: Old man growls at a younger kid who accidentally cuts the cashier line, which, by the way, has looped around the entire indoors of the establishment.
1:30: Security guard by the door tells a fellow TJ employee to “Make it fly, Wonder Woman.” Um, okay, what now?
1:31: Hands are everywhere, grabbing everything. Don’t expect to find much Organic Herb Salad Mix. There’s plenty of kale left, though!
1:36: Female shopper asks her male friend how he’s liking New York. Answer: “I’m loving it.”
1:37: Said male friend breaks into a subtle dance when he hears Rihanna’s “We Found Love” play on the loud speaker. Oh, no, wait. He just did the moonwalk to side-step someone who needed to get by. You do you, dude!
1:38: Line is moving weirdly fast. Faster than the average day at TJ’s. Already by the milk aisle.
1:39: “Aloha, Trader Joe’s customers. This is your friendly reminder that there is no delivery today.” You think?
1:40: Okay, the moonwalker has now gone all ballerina. He’s officially plié-ing in the fourth position.
1:42: “Why do we use this as an excuse to go shopping,” says a lady to the man behind her. “I don’t know, it’s not even bad weather,” he replies. “I know,” she says, “I’m from Michigan.” Welcome to New York!
1:43: A woman loudly sighs before saying, “I need a roadmap to navigate this maze.”
1:45: TJ’s employees are restocking like crazy.
1:50: Mission accomplished! Wow, that was kind of fast. #Prepared4Juno
So, to take away from this little adventure, we strongly advise that you shop at Trader Joe’s now. They’re being uncharacteristically efficient.
